Elevator Pitch
“Supercommunicators” is a book on how to connect! There are simple types of conversations we all have. How we align with others during these conversations is the key to communication.
Lesson 1
The root of all excellent communication is alignment.
Duhigg calls this “the matching principle.” It’s the most critical aspect of being a great communicator.
“Effective communication requires recognizing what kind of conversation is occurring, and then matching each other.”
~Charles Duhigg
Aligning with others more than mimicking or agreeing. It’s about matching. A challenging skill but learnable!
Lesson 2
Conversations fall into three categories.
- “What’s this really about?“ conversations. Analytical. What do they really want to discuss? Match the topic.
- “How do we feel?“ conversations. Emotional. Show that you’re listening. Match the mood.
- “Who are we?“ conversations. Relationships. Groups. Show that everyone in the group is on equal footing.
“To become a super-communicator, we need to listen closely to what’s said and unsaid, ask the right questions, recognize and match others’ moods, and make our own feelings easy for others to perceive.“
~Charles Duhigg
Conversations don’t have to be about taking sides or winning arguments. The idea is to be patient, extend things, and turn discussions into what Duhigg calls “a learning conversation.”
Lesson 3
Learning conversations are about asking questions rather than talking back or talking down.
Example questions for PORTRAIT PHOTOGRAPHERS:
- Looking forward to shooting photos tomorrow. Can I do anything to help?
- What made you start thinking about professional headshots?
- Do you remember why you decided to be a fill-in-the-blank?
“The most effective communicators pause before they speak and ask themselves: Why am I opening my mouth? Unless we know what kind of discussion we’re hoping for—and what type of discussion our companions want—we’re at a disadvantage.”
~Charles Duhigg
“Supercommunicators“ is a book about connection and conversation. Pay close attention to what kind of conversation is happening. You’ll soon be having “learning conversations.”